Star Trek: Lost Episode Transcript

(Picard) “Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?”

(Geordi) “Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology.”

(Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.)

(Riker looks puzzled.) “What the hell is ‘Microsoft’?”

(Data turns to answer.) “Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called ‘Windows’, through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate.”

(Picard) “But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won’t they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?”

(Data) “Yes, Captain. But when ‘Windows’ detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an ‘upgrade’. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions.”

(Picard) “Excellent work. This is even better than that ‘unsolvable geometric shape’ idea.”

(Data) “Captain, We have successfully installed the ‘Windows’ in the command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all resources. We however have not received any confirmation of the expected ‘upgrade’.”

(Geordi) “Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of an ‘upgrade’ to compensate for their increase.”

(Picard) “Data, scan the history banks again and determine if their is something we have missed.”

(Data) “Sir, I believe their is a reason for the failure in the ‘upgrade’. Apparently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards.

(Riker) “Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . .”

(Geordi, excited) “Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0% !”

(Picard) “Data, what does your scanners show?”

(Data) “Apparently the Borg have found the internal ‘Windows’ module named ‘Solitaire’ and it has used up all the CPU capacity.”

(Picard) “Lets wait and see how long this ‘solitaire’ can reduce their functionality.”

(Riker) “Geordi what’s the status on the Borg?”

(Geordi) “As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more ‘windows’ modules from something called the ‘Microsoft fun-pack’.

(Picard) “How much time will that buy us ?”

(Data) “Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest time span of 6 more hours.”

(Geordi) “Captain, another vessel has entered our sector.”

(Picard) “Identify.”

(Data) “It appears to have markings very similar to the ‘Microsoft’ logo”


(Data) “The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid shaped objects.”

(Picard) “Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft”

(Riker) “Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg ship with no life support suits ! How can they survive the tortures of deep space ?!”

(Data) “I don’t believe that those are humans sir, if you will look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits”

(Riker and Picard together horrified) “Lawyers !!”

(Geordi) “It can’t be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening.”

(Data) “True, but apparently some must have survived.”

(Riker) “They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all types of papers.”

(Data) “I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as ‘red tape’ – it often proves fatal.”

(Riker) “They’re tearing the Borg to pieces !”

(Picard) “Turn off the monitors. I can’t stand to watch, not even the Borg deserve that.”

It’s better to be a pirate than join the navy

That’s one of three “Sayings from Chairman (Steve) Jobs,” just prior to forming the “Macintosh Division” with over 80 employees in 1983.

I’ve never been a Mac owner, never even used one, but I admire what Jobs has done over the years and would salute him if given the chance. I don’t consider myself a pirate but it sounds like a great idea to live by.

More: Macintosh Stories: Pirate Flag

Skype does video now!

I’ve been using Skype at work for a while to talk long distance with our company’s programmer in the UK and it seems to work pretty good so far. Today I came across this article on LA Times website that announces that Skype now does video too, and better than it’s competitors…

Video Phone Calling is Starting to Look Better

I don’t run Skype all the time, but if you want to add me to your Skype buddy list I’m “probasix” there, just as I am on Yahoo, AIM, and MSN.


Trip to Media, PA and all over — NJ, DE, MD, D.C. (and by accident VA)

Joan and I are finally on our trip back East! Finally we got our schedules coordinated and made it all the way out here to visit her friends Gary and Sharyl. We’re staying at their home in Media, PA — a cute two-story house in a little town full of trees and flowers. I’ve been taking pictures with Gary’s digital camera whenever I can and you can find most of them here: (new central link to access both formats)

Enjoy the pics! There’s more to come as we take more along the way (Washington, D.C., on Friday, Jim Thorpe on Saturday). Check back to the link above for updates as we get to the end of the week (flying back via Frontier Airlines on Sunday).


Update (10/16/05): We’re back and all the pictures are available now. There are two formats: one shows the “best of” with a summary and short descriptions for some of the them; the second is a complete online album of ALL the pictures but without any summaries or descriptions. Also, the pictures are now scaled down and are “dialup friendly” so it won’t take forever to load if you’ve got a slow connection!

One to beam up…

James Doohan, the Canadian actor who portrayed Scottish chief engineer Montgomery Scott on Star Trek, made his final voyage today at the age of 85. He was still making his way as a “Miracle Worker” at age 80 when his wife gave birth to their daughter, Sarah. His last public appearance was in October 2004 when he received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. His wife, Wende, of 28 years was by his side when he passed on to the final frontier.

He will be missed by many people across several generations. My thoughts are with his family, friends, and fellow fans. May his legacy live long and prosper.

A few news articles if you want to know more (can you tell I rely mostly on the BBC for my news?):

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | TV and Radio | Star Trek’s Scotty dies aged 85: Doohan, whose role was immortalised in the line “Beam me up, Scotty”, had been suffering from pneumonia and Alzheimer’s disease, his agent said.

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | TV and Radio | Obituary: James Doohan: Star Trek’s impact became apparent when he was awarded an honorary doctorate in Engineering from the Milwaukee School of Engineering, after half the students there said that Scotty had inspired them to take up the subject.

BBC NEWS | Have Your Say | Star Treks’s Scotty: Your tributes